How to Share Tasks with a Husband, Wife, or Other Family Members

Sharing tasks between a husband and wife is not unique to families with autistic children. In general, good mothers and fathers communicate in advance about how responsibilities will be divided within the household. This division of tasks can be arranged according to each parent’s strengths, character, and available time. For example, if the father is good at mathematics, he can take responsibility for assisting the child with math homework. Likewise, if the mother is more skilled in communication, she can act as the child’s manager and spokesperson for school-related matters. Ideally, this process is supported by honest and open communication between both parents.

To encourage fathers to feel more confident and willing to take on more responsibilities, start with enjoyable activities. These can include playing with the child, taking them swimming, playing video games together, or splashing around during bath time. These pleasant activities are expected to strengthen the bond between the father and the child.

While the father is spending time playing with the child, the mother can use thisspare timeity to rest. In Indonesia, this division of labor can also involve the support of a household helper. Routine tasks, such as teaching children how to eat, drink, or use the toilet, can be delegated to caregivers, as long as the mother or father provides clear, step-by-step guidance and consistently monitors the learning process.

It is also helpful to create a list of tasks or responsibilities involved in supporting the child’s development. For example, make separate sections for math, physical education, behavioral therapy, speech therapy, and other activities, with specific time slots for each. This list should then be discussed with the husband to determine which responsibilities he is willing and able to take on.

The mother typically remains the manager of the overall program. She should understand in detail what is being taught during therapy sessions. Both parents need to be aware of the programs being implemented in therapy classes, as it is ultimately the responsibility of the mother and father to monitor the child’s progress.

To manage diet and eating patterns, create a weekly menu plan. Food preparation can be delegated to a helper, but it is important for the mother or father to supervise hygiene and ensure proper nutritional intake. Good planning helps reduce uncertainty and stress. In essence, having a clear plan will lower stress levels and increase the likelihood of success.

Source: Book “200 Questions and Answers about Autism,” p. 133