The Challenges of Raising Two Children with Autism

My name is Ina, and I am a mother of two boys diagnosed with Autism. My eldest is 11 years old, and my younger son is seven.

Raising two children with Autism is not simple; my life feels like a rollercoaster, filled with constant ups and downs. Each day brings a mix of emotions.

Shackled by stigma

Living in a country where some people still have little understanding about children with special needs, including ASD, often makes me emotionally turbulent. It started with my eldest child's early development, which was unlike most other children: hyperactive, unfocused, not speaking until he was over three years old, lacking adequate eye contact, unresponsive to being called by his name or spoken to, and even unable to recognize the pain of having his leaky head stitched at a clinic near our house.

Many people considered my son a naughty child who couldn't keep still. Being a public spectacle was also commonplace for me.

Every time I travel outside the house on public transportation, my second child will scream hysterically, throw tantrums, or even have meltdowns because he hates waiting and wants to arrive on the bus or train as quickly as possible. He frequently hurls objects he is wearing, such as sandals or shoes, and occasionally injures my hands through biting or scratching.

Many lessons

We've experienced rejections when enrolling them in various schools. How does it feel? Needless to say, my heart and mind are torn apart; a battle between emotion and logic often ensues. It often leads to tears, proof that it's beyond words.

Subsequently, am I angry, disappointed, or regretful about having these special children? Without hesitation, my response is a FIRM NO. I realize that there are many married couples out there eagerly awaiting the arrival of their children. I am grateful to have children who exhibit honest faces and behaviors. Their presence colors this world, covering up its deceitfulness with their innocence without pretense.

From them, I learned patience, honesty, acceptance, and joy, even in small things. They were my teachers, teaching me various skills so I could live life more wisely. Eventually, I began to understand that they are flawless creations of God, as God's creation is infallible. However, some humans marginalize their condition, making them considered imperfect.

Fully accepting

If only we realized what it would be like to be in their shoes, we would understand their world. They don't have to conform; just accept them as we want to be accepted, with equal rights. Then the world will be more beautiful with the different colors they contribute.

Please accept feelings of anger, irritation, disappointment, sadness, and so on because they are different. But don't let them linger, because continued sadness will not change the situation.

Recognize that the environment cannot marginalize these special children because they are innocent. Believing that every day is a precious moment for me with them makes me more able to regulate my emotions to maintain my sanity and enjoy the beauty of life.